Think you have Alzheimer’s or dementia?

This is an open blog post to those of you that are beginning to suspect that you may have Alzheimer’s and also have grown children. I can’t assume that I know what it is like to be in your position — fear, doubt, depression — but please allow me to offer you a little perspective from the point of view of your adult children.

Please don’t keep this from your children and act as if nothing is wrong. They are grown adults and there is a good chance they already suspect it anyway. Please don’t act as if you are protecting your children from something. They will have to deal with it whether you are aware of it or not. Please don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed to discuss this disease your children. No one is to blame here and time is short, use all of it for what it is worth.

Me? I let two years go by while I suspected that something was up with my mom. She didn’t want to talk about it and I guess I took the easy road by deciding to respect that. But by the time there was no way for her to deny it and a clinical diagnosis was given, too much valuable time was gone. And sadly, the opportunity to be able to carry on a conversation was gone by then too.

Instead of facing the future, enjoying the time we had, planning for what was to come, and being proactive, our time was spent trying to delicately dance around the subject while figuring out ways to protect her from this horrible disease without her knowledge. By the time we were forced to act on things like finances, medical, and legal issues her emotions were in such a delicate state from the disease that everything was a gamble as to if she could handle it or not.

I love my mom, and this is the way things have worked out in God’s plan. I write this to give you the perspective of someone who is a little further down the road so your children might have a little less to regret in the future. Go to the neurologist and be honest with them. Find out what the issue is and see if it’s anything else that can be helped. Then, if worse comes to worse, walk the road before you WITH your family.

I pray that I would have the strength to do this and would not be surprised if I eventually get the opportunity.