Everyone’s Fault
Do you ever sit back and think about everyone that you know as a friend or aquaintence? Do ever focus on their faults? Are there some people whose faults push you to the edge of what you can tolerate as a member of society? There are some that have gotten too busy to contribute to developing any kind of substancial friendship - don’t call them, they’ll call you if they get time. Then there are others that would claim to be your friend but keep enough of a distance to not let the friendship go past just being cordial to each other - or just enough to borrow something if they need it. (With this group you wonder how long it would take them to notice if you hopped a bus to Albuquerque.)
Moving on to worse things. There are some people that are just plain flakey. They say they will do something and always end up backing out because of some lame excuse that is obviously made up. What about the ones that just drain you emotionally? Everything is an emotional crisis and it’s up to you to fix it for them - or at least hear every chalk board scraping detail about the situation. (This group tends to drain your soul if you spend too much time with them.)
I can think of something for just about everyone I know but what about me? Is it possible that I am the only person in the world that isn’t screwed up in some way? When someone thinks about me, what annoying complex do I have that they immediately think of? I acknowledge that I have a problem with “follow through”. I don’t know if it’s ADD (never been diagnosed) or what, but excluding long-term committments, it’s easy for me to start things but once I lose interest I’m off to something else. I guess this is a call for introspection. Think about everything people do to annoy you and remember the saying, “We hate in others what we hate most in ourselves.”
Oh, and I tend to mumble. Sorry.
May 26th, 2005 at 7:24 am
Are you being rhetorical in that last paragraph?
May 26th, 2005 at 7:34 am
Yes, I was being rhetorical here. I was just pointing out that though they never acknowledge it, most people live their lives from that point of view - everyone is messed up but them.
If you want to list out my annoying complexes, feel free but try not to rant past 5 paragraphs.
May 26th, 2005 at 8:40 am
I’ll start by entering my charitable contribution first… I’ve been annoyed by people in the past who were always “too busy” for some reason, but now I feel like I’m that guy. There are probably a bunch of other categories I could dive into besides “busy-ness…”
I don’t exempt myself from criticism in these regards, but now that I’ve “walked a mile in both sets of shoes” I’m learning to start out with a charitable view toward what people might be doing (or not doing) that annoys me.
With that said, I’ll think carefully about my “rant” before I post it.
BTW, great opening for a thread, SuperDave… this one could be really edifying if the contributors think before they speak.
May 26th, 2005 at 10:17 am
I know I am messed up. And its very freeing. Not the messed up part but the awareness of it. Here goes - I will rant on my own perceived relational shortcomings.
I know I am demanding, direct, and overly confident at times. This makes me seem aloof and unapproachable. Obviously this is just the tip of my iceberg.
The funny thing is, to some, those traits are annoying, to others they are admirable.
The cool thing that I am thankful for is God’s grace in all this. If you want to see a picture of God’s work, ask my wife what I was like ten years ago. Why she married me is still a mystery, except for the fact I can play guitar. Most folks then would not call me “friend” but “jerk”. I am sure I get reaction still.
Since I opened this book up and my friends are here ( I think I have friends) how about some honest feedback?
PS - David - you do mumble.
May 26th, 2005 at 5:37 pm
My problem is with friends who are always analyzing and categorizing your faults.
May 28th, 2005 at 1:02 pm
Kevin, if the statement about what we hate in others is true then we can assume that the same thing applies to what we love in others. While being overly confident is usually not a good thing - as we should be seeking humility - I appreciate your directness and the way you call things like you see them.
After spending several years on our previous church’s worship team message board, I found that I had to build a relationship to let people know that I was “for them” and not just trying to pinpoint their mistakes or things that could have been done differently. No one wants to have some “pompas know it all” shoot out critisisms on how things should have been done. After I layed off offering my opinion, people started asking for it - knowing that I would tell them what I thought.
All this to say that just as Proverbs warns us to correct the fool, it also warns us let the fool go their way. (Proverbs 26:4,5) We must use discernment and discretion regarding when and how to offer our honest, direct opinons.
I haven’t known you that long but I also appreciate your openess to share about what’s going on in your spiritual growth and that fast food is not beneath you.
May 30th, 2005 at 1:43 pm
Loggin’ in from my iBook. Great post Dave. Got me thinking. Don’t know how to comment on that. I am certainly in that category of “friends / acquaintences” that you mentioned. The ?uestion I ask myself is where do I go from here? How can I change?
Gonna chat about this one with some friends here in a sec. Thanks for the introspective post!
June 3rd, 2005 at 12:56 pm
Ah, but that’s what love is for. “Love covers a multitude of sins” 1 Peter 4:8. It’s by knowing my own fault’s & follies that I can be more tolerant of others.
And that’s how we can all overlook that funny thing you do with your left ear, David.