I was looking around to see if our family names were available as URLs (www.yournamehere.com) and I noticed that www.maegan.com was already taken. As I typed my daughter’s name into the browser, I was curious to see what kind of playful, digital vanity someone took the time to create and pay the required fees to have online for all the world to see. I was not expecting to have my heart sink to the depths that we try so hard to avoid on a daily basis.

We have just gotten the latest pictures back from a professional photographer that took some studio shots of us as a family and of Maegan to match the pictures we have of Camryn. I have one at my desk that I love because it’s compositionally beautiful and it also captures the hearts of my children as they play together. What a contrast of emotions pictures like these must bring up for this man?

I wonder how he is doing. I wonder how any of his Christian friends may have reacted. Did they surround him with love, tears, and compassion? Or did they try to explain something like this away saying, “Don’t worry, God is in control”? This is something I do not understand — I hope that God will never make me understand it. And as I write, I realize that God understands it and empathizes with it more than we think He does.